Hello Reader!

This collection is a most splendid adventure.

As many-a traumatized person knows, joy or safety or even neutrality can have a bizarre, twisted impact on the nervous system. Instability was nurtured into me from a young age, and so every happy moment brought with it the sensation that another wound was already plotting its arrival. As I moved into adulthood, then, each pleasant event made my heart race, my shoulders shrug, and my brow furrow.

One of the most radical and difficult truths of changing patterns like this is that joy must be a choice, made consistently, despite the bodily sensations.

How despicable.

But! Fixable (thank the Gods).

I’ve done the work here of pulling out pieces where my resilience and determination to feel joy are most present. In the early collection, this manifests as feigned certainty, profound gratitude in the most mundane moments, and just… faith that one day, it would not be so strenuous to feel pleasant. By the middle collection, I have discovered the words for it but not yet located the feeling in the body; I speak highly of the treasured connections in my life. In the later pieces, there is a shift. If you have read the Litigation collection, you will know, I went through a nasty breakup in January of 2026. The pieces following that demonstrate my persistent uplifting of myself and presence in my success, even as I moved through that heaviness.

Truthfully, I have yet to find the words for joy in my body, but I trust this collection will continue to expand.

There is always more joy to be found, Reader. Let this be proof.

Happy reading,

~ Alida