phone

i pick up my phone
again
to stare
at the same little squares
that were there
when i last picked it up
two minutes ago

this thing is an enemy
and a resource,
one i can’t live without,
but an enemy nonetheless

the amount
and diversity of
experiences
i can have
on my phone
is truly beyond my comprehension,
as is the number of individuals
who contributed
to my rectangle
and the squares i stare at

squares take me to different worlds.
i am particularly fond of
short videos
presented via
endless scrolling.
my brain thinks this is social contact.

this is a relic
of a time
when my brain
was starving.

just now, i went to scroll.
i stopped the urge,
but it is too easy,
too accessible
to numb my mind,
to fill it with sensory experiences
that make me feel
there is nothing left to be created

my phone is a consumption device
my mind is overfull