It'll Work Itself Out

One mention of his name
Sends my red blood cells racing,
Flooding my capillaries with oxygen,

DEFEND DEFEND DEFEND!
EVERYBODY ON HIGH ALERT!

I bow my head
And place my hand on my heart,
Signaling to the table,
Something is wrong.

The people who know catch it.
Maybe it lands in the subconscious minds
Of the strangers
Who don’t know
Who they’ve brought up in me.

My body,
Braced for an exciting moment of connection,
Was met with fight or flight,
When she can do neither.

I didn’t freeze or fawn, though.

I sat with myself,
Until I could soothe the reaction.

Afterwards, I spoke to someone who noticed.

I got myself home,
And I wrote this vow,

My documentation only ends
When there’s nothing left to document.