Full

Define your voice!
Shouts someone,
From the mountaintops of my mind.

It’s funny,
Because I feel like I never stop talking.

I’ve been through a lot of things,
Bad things,
And…

Sometimes I feel there is no defined voice of joy in me.

Today,
My heart feels so full,
It’s hard to describe any other way.

But I’d like to believe I can expand my capacity for joy;
That I can turn this fullness into half-fullness,
So I may make room for more and more delight.

Let me try, then, to define this voice of joy…

There is bliss in my soul;
Restfulness that I once thought I might only find in death.

Excitement, too,
Not the kind that makes you nervous,
But raw, bright, yellow and green excitement.

There is evidence of progress and the satisfaction that comes with it.
There is tenderness behind the stone-cold, walled off regions of my heart.

I imagine a journey,
Long and treacherous,
Filled with demons and trolls and riddles.
The paths are windy and hilly.
There was a magical forest my party briefly got lost in.
We were fleeing some war; persecution;
And at the end of the journey,
After all the trials and tribulations,
We emerged on the other side,
Greeted by open pastures and blue skies.
The town we happened upon was wary of us, at first,
But they quickly warmed up as we told them the tales of our travels.
Now, we play sword-fight with the children.
One of us bakes the bread.
One milks the goats in the springtime mornings.

It was a tale of loss, confusion, and anger,
Turned into a fable about the brilliance that can take the form of determined, hardworking refugees.

Maybe I will tell that story someday.
I certainly hope I will.

But for today,
For now,
I will bask in the warm glow of the firelight,
Comfortable and confident
That I have made it
All the way home.