Clown Companions

There’s something completely novel for me
In being allowed to be terrified.

Every other time,
I’ve had to summon my own strength,
Push through,
Fight,
And find the pride and confidence.

I have this commitment now,
With a friend,
Which means I Will Do It,
And so I am free
To be so fucking scared.

This is that distribution they talk about —
That idea that community holds us in ways
That change individual experience.

I’ll admit,
It does simplify things.

Where there used to be struggle,
Determination,
Triumph,
There is now

Relief and terror.

But that is a new combination!

Some day,
God willing,
It will just be terror
😀